Whether you’re planning a casual dinner with close friends or a more formal gathering, great hosting is about more than just the menu. It’s about creating a warm, welcoming experience for everyone at the table. From seating plans to last-minute cancellations, interior designer Brian Gluckstein shares answers to your top entertaining etiquette questions, with thoughtful advice for hosts and guests alike.

Hosting a Stress-Free Gathering

How can I make hosting less overwhelming?

The secret to relaxed hosting is preparation. Make a list of your must-dos and organize your time so that most tasks are completed before guests arrive. Choose a menu that allows you to prep and cook in advance, so you’re not scrambling at the last minute.

Setting the table early, having the dishwasher empty, and pre-batching a cocktail are all small things that make a big difference. Personally, I love greeting guests with a drink already poured—it’s a welcoming detail and helps set the tone for the evening.

When should you start preparing for a dinner party?

Ideally, you’ll start prep a day or two ahead—this gives you time to shop, prep ingredients, and set the table. The more that’s done in advance, the more relaxed you’ll feel. If it’s a sit-down dinner, keeping a printed or written timeline on hand can help everything stay on track.

Hosting Etiquette + Thoughtful Gestures

Should guests take their shoes off?

This comes down to personal preference and cultural norms, but I generally prefer guests to remove their shoes indoors. A polite request at the door is usually well received, and offering a basket of clean slippers makes it more comfortable for everyone.

Should I use a seating arrangement?

For gatherings of six or more, a seating arrangement is a thoughtful touch. It avoids that awkward pause while people figure out where to sit, and it allows you to mix up guests in a way that encourages conversation. I often avoid seating couples next to each other and instead think about who might have something interesting to share.

How should I handle dietary restrictions?

As a host, it’s helpful to ask about allergies or dietary preferences when you send the invitation. If you’re a guest with specific needs, it’s perfectly fine to let your host know and offer to bring a dish if needed. If the host offers to prepare something for you, a sincere thank-you goes a long way.

Being a Gracious Guest

Is it okay to bring a dish without asking?

Not unless the host has invited you to. Bringing something unannounced can unintentionally throw off the flow of the menu or preparation. If you have dietary restrictions, it’s best to reach out and ask if you can contribute a dish that suits your needs.

What’s the best host or hostess gift?

Flowers are always lovely—but bring them in a vase so the host doesn’t have to stop what they’re doing to arrange them. I also like to bring a high-count set of wine glasses. It’s a gift that’s both practical and elegant, and extra glasses are always useful when entertaining a crowd.

How soon should I send a thank-you note?

Ideally, the next day. But within the week is perfectly acceptable. A handwritten card adds a personal, unexpected touch—and yes, I still send them. It’s a small gesture that leaves a lasting impression.

RSVPs, Cancellations, and Timing

When should you RSVP to an invitation?

Within a few days. Prompt replies help your host plan—whether that’s finalizing the guest list, setting the table, or preparing food quantities.

How late is too late to cancel?

If something unavoidable comes up, let your host know as soon as possible. But if you’ve accepted the invitation, I believe in following through. A lot of effort goes into planning a gathering, and last-minute cancellations can create unnecessary stress for the host.

What time should guests arrive?

For a dinner party, aim to arrive within ten minutes of the stated start time. Too early and your host might still be setting up. Too late and you could throw off the rhythm of the evening.

Hosting Tips for Different Types of Gatherings

Do you need to host a full meal for a successful gathering?

Not at all. A few small bites, a good drink, and a relaxed setting can be just as enjoyable. I often suggest hosting a cocktail hour or dessert gathering if you want something more casual—it still feels special without the pressure of a full dinner service.

How do I make my home feel welcoming to guests?

Focus on atmosphere. Dim the lights slightly, light a few candles, and put on music that complements the mood. Have drinks or snacks easily accessible when guests arrive. Creating a welcoming environment doesn’t require perfection—it just requires intention.

From planning ahead to showing up with thoughtfulness, Brian Gluckstein’s hosting advice is rooted in making guests feel comfortable and gatherings feel effortless. Do you have more entertaining etiquette questions? Follow @glucksteinhome for more expert tips and the next Ask Brian feature.

Photography by A Plus Creative